


Not Alone

by chipfics



Series: In Hand, in Mind [7]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Other, This is pre-pining pre-relationship stuff. they're still becoming friends :), While it isn't specifically mentioned in this fic the Lavellan character is trans male!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chipfics/pseuds/chipfics
Summary: Cassandra spends a late night looking out over Haven with a bottle of brandy, only to be interrupted by an unexpected visitor. Set in a Trevelyan Siblings AU, but features Cassandra and a trans Lavellan oc.
Relationships: Male Lavellan & Cassandra Pentaghast
Series: In Hand, in Mind [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741927
Kudos: 2





	Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I've mentioned Allain in several of my fics from this AU but had yet to center one with him at the forefront- I've finally fixed that!
> 
> It doesn't come up in this fic, but please take note that Allain Lavellan is a trans man. I hope to write more on that aspect of his character another time!

“I know I'm not the person you want, but I'm here.”

Cassandra looked away from the bottle of brandy in her hand and straightened from where she was leaned against a wall, looking over the dark village of Haven.

The person who had spoken was the Dalish elf, the friend of the Trevelyan siblings...what was his name...Allain.

Cassandra had not interacted with him much directly outside of work. He had offered his services to Leliana and was working with the scouts and with the Trevelyans. He had been back and forth from the Hinterlands for weeks. Usually if he wasn't working, Cassandra saw him with Tristan and Alyssa, or curled up by a window somewhere with a book of poetry or a journal he was always scribbling in.

“I don't know what you mean,” Cassandra said plainly, and looked back over the village. The only lights were outdoor braziers that marked pathways and a few campfires outside the walls where the soldiers were set up in tents.

“You're lonely,” Allain said softly, and Cassandra released a sharp breath through her nose.

What she had seen of Allain, he was open and easy and silvertongued. Always ready with a compliment or a one liner, never shying away from questions...but not quite always answering them either. She had thought him honest at first, but the more she observed the more she realized he never more than half answered any query about his personal life or past. He gave just enough to satisfy, but not enough for anybody to truly know him. As she sipped her brandy some more, she decided that must have been what Leliana thought would make him a good scout. That, and his reportedly keen skill with a bow.

It was dark, so observing him from the corner of her eye was a bit difficult, but she could make out the features she had noticed in daylight hours well enough. His hair was mussed and chin length, swept to one side with a small braided portion tucked behind one ear. His build was lithe but strong, especially in the arms and shoulders, his skin pallid. His eyes were very blue, like a summer sky, which made the directness of his gaze unnerving at times. And over the left one there was a deep and painful looking scar.

Long eyelashes though, and a gracefully curved mouth...he was a pretty man, to be sure. But Cassandra turned her gaze forward again. _Lonely_.

Allain wasn't wrong, but Cassandra wasn't sure she liked that he had noticed. She stayed quiet, and it wasn't long before Allain decided to elaborate of his own volition.

“Alyssa tells me you were the right hand of the Divine,” He said, “That the two of you were even friends.”

Cassandra took a swig from her bottle. Allain looked out over the village and the laughter that had seemed always present in his eyes before faded to a cool, sorrowful gaze.

“Everyone here is hurting,” He said, “Old wounds, raw wounds, wounds so fresh the sting of tears has yet to stop. It all gathers into one big hurt, like a fog over the village. It's a choking, blinding sort of thing and it makes it hard to know who needs what help.”

“Supply lines have become more stable,” Cassandra replied, “We have plenty of elfroot.”

“For the cuts and burns, yes.” Allain said, “But you know I wasn't talking about that.”

“If you are so concerned about aching hearts,” Cassandra told him, “There are better places your effort could be spent.”

With the recruits missing home, Cassandra thought. With the wounded soldiers trying to fight off nigthmares of the battles they had been injured in. Healers who had lost patients. There were plenty of places Allain could go if he wanted to offer company to someone who was hurting. Cassandra had always done fine on her own- why should she need a shoulder now?

“I'm right where I want to be,” Allain replied easily. Cassandra gripped her bottle a little tighter.

Allain did not move, so she sighed an relented.

“Divine Justinia was a dear friend, yes.” She admitted quietly, “Her loss is...difficult to accept. I have precious few friends. Now there is one less.”

Silence for a moment, and then Allain spoke.

“You know,” He said, “I am an orphan. My parents died when I was but a wee thing.”

“I was passed round from one person to another in my clan growing up, never really part of any family. By the time I was an adult, I was so used to it that I hadn't ever managed to make any close friends, even in my age group. I wasn't on _bad_ terms with the clan, and I did my work as a hunter diligently, but I wasn't at home there.”

“That is why you left,” Cassandra concluded.

“Aye,” Allain said, “The Keeper...when Alyssa showed up near our camp she was sick, starved, half dead. She took pity and let her stay just long enough to recover. I was posted as her guard. It was the first time anyone had put so much effort into finding out about me.”

Allain continued. “Now that I'm with the Inquisition I'm surrounded by people who are always asking me questions. About the Dalish, about hunting, about my likes or dislikes...it's made me realize that while perhaps my clan never reached out to me much, I never tried to reach out very much either.”

With that, he looked at Cassandra. “I get that same feeling from you, Lady Seeker, that you don't know how to reach out to others.”

The words had a weight to them that settled on Cassandra immediately. They hit the nail on the head. Cassandra could lead soldiers, interrogate prisoners, fight outlaws- but she had never learned how to offer any of herself to anyone. Justinia had reached out to _her_. Accepting that extended hand had not been easy, either. At all's end, Cassandra just did not know how to connect with people.

“And is that why you are here, then?” She finally asked, looking pointedly at her bottle.

“I suppose it is, yes.” Allain said gently, “Our demeanors differ greatly, but our shortfalls are not so different. I see a kindred spirit in pain when I look at you.”

He reached a hand out and squeezed Cassandra's shoulder. When she met his eyes, they were full of something warm, something gentle, something like a hand reaching out to take hers.

“I may not be able to bring your friends back,” Allain told her, “But I hope it is not so late that I cannot offer myself as a new one. We both deserve better than loneliness.”

Cassandra held his gaze for a long moment. Perhaps it was the brandy starting to get to her, but she decided she rather liked Allain’s eyes. So light and blue and airy looking, and so perceptive. Finally, she found a reply.

“Do you drink brandy, Allain?” She held up her bottle and offered an awkward half smile. 

Allain laughed softly out his nose. “Let us find some glasses, shall we?” He said.


End file.
